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Re: Chat Excerpts

Post by Gesar » 19:12:38 Monday, 05 May, 2014

This is more or less what just happened. I edited a few bits based on immediate rewrites and rearranged some things, but yeah. Rin (Crazy Wisdom, because he's bringing the Dharma in all types of fuckin' ways) and I (Cypher Zulu, you gotta do some crazy mathematics to figure out my warrior style) made a rap while in IRC. Also participating, MC Snacks the Drunken Ambassador, and the Mad Contender (Smyg). We're calling ourselves Honey in the Bear Bottle, fake Killah Beez.
Crazy Wisdom:
This crazy wisdom go straight to your head
Cut through the lies like a knife through bread
Cut through the fog like a pair of scissors
Hold up let me call out the CZA
He's the wiz-ah
of Oz
Ain't follow the laws
Got a key in the car and a tree in the bar
Roll through your hood then he blasted ya
Call the Drunken Ambassador
It's a motherfucking massacre

Cypher Zulu:
word up
I'm on the next level
y'all niggas Peter Paul and Mary
so you feeling lucky, punk? this shit is Dirty Harry
now the mic is my wand, and yo word is bond
castin' rhymes like a wizard
you mothafuckers lizard, outdated
I made it, so send your girl my way
this shit'll be Ice Cube: call it a good day

I'm from the Mecca of the north, these lyrics are my sword
bringing jihad to weak rappers whose rhymes are escorts
they hoes, they dirty, you might as well as surrender
because I'm summoning the goons, let's go Mad Contender

Mad Contender:
Back down nigga, or weep like the Rains
Thirst for blood, gonna hunt down some Danes
A goddamn fightah, nerves like ice
Hack 'n repeat - I got that Viking slice

Crazy Wisdom:
There is no God but Allah, and Ali is his Wali
and me, I'm mad like Kali/Come through like Muhammed Ali
Can't stall me, call me, or brawl me
I float, see? Like a monarch
I'm in the ring, I hit my mark
you bit my game, you jump the shark
You ain't worth my snark/Bet big and no game, No-Bark

Cypher Zulu:
now this is a trip, we're getting Tim Leary
got bitches on my tip, from the land of the dairy
Minnesota nice, I could kill ya with kindness
but call me James Franco, call me Your Highness
Or call me Cypher Zulu, you bitches stuck on Hulu
that's right, you're watching re-runs
while we run wild, on your style
like Tyl-er Durden, we're split in two halves
doin' it Oregon Trail: blazing new paths

Crazy Wisdom:
When I'm about, it's a rout
Run and hide 'fore these claws come out
Can't compete with all this clout
You suck Five Guys, I'm In-n-Out
Personally, I imagined my bit to this, which really makes it all the more terrible. Also, edited for a few lines I missed.
Anthony Calhoun Nordquist
President of the Mountain States of America

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Re: Chat Excerpts

Post by Smyg » 21:01:42 Monday, 05 May, 2014

Word up to my niggas Crazy, Zulu and Ambass, for real. Molotov Records, 2014 baby, we rollin'. This next album is about to drop, and it's gonna drop hard as heeeeell, you better believe it. Fake Killah Beez, you muthafuckas know what I'm talkin' 'bout! Mad Con, out

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Re: Chat Excerpts

Post by Aesculus » 21:47:12 Monday, 05 May, 2014

No mention of me and my 3 lines of commentary and lack of any contribution to that at all apart from the commentary? :cry:

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Re: Chat Excerpts

Post by RinKou » 21:58:47 Monday, 05 May, 2014

A feud broke out in the Hive: Crazy Wisdom and Cypher Zulu decided to settle the beef with the rawest rap battle ever recorded in Molotov.
CypherZulu I gotta finish this job app but like
CypherZulu eh
CypherZulu this was productive enough
CrazyWisdom You should include Rap God on your resume
CypherZulu aw man
CypherZulu my signature on this application looks like shit
CypherZulu like it's seriously making me consider getting a new one
CypherZulu (I have another one but it has a coffee stain on it)
CypherZulu (I'm fucked)
CrazyWisdom Just add after it
CrazyWisdom Don't judge me by my John Hancock
CrazyWisdom Judge how my rhymes pick the lock
CrazyWisdom To your brain come through like acid rain
CrazyWisdom My verse gives virgin birth, you just a cumstain
CypherZulu lel
CypherZulu I'm sure belittling the manager through a rap battle will help
CrazyWisdom This is how all hiring processes should be handled.
CrazyWisdom "Johnson, quick, lay down a beat"
CrazyWisdom "Time for me to take this kid to school."
CypherZulu if you ever go to business, that's what you should do
CypherZulu (and keep me on as official application reader)
CrazyWisdom Dude, obviously
It went a little something like this:
Cypher Zulu
You wanna write copy/but quit fronting, guv
Your instincts are sloppy, like your name's Courtney Love
My instincts are killa, chocolate wrapped in vanilla
So move over, Rover, and let JD take over
Or spit a dope verse, if you wanna get hired
But I'm Jimi fucking Hendrix, you can't stand next to this fire

Crazy Wisdom
You call me Courtney Love, but I still got my brain
You adopted rhymes/I grew up in them like Bane
So take your weak shit and get out my face
I write so hard it puts Chris Bale in a back brace.
Go on, now, git, don't prattle
You think you won?
You're a snake in a CRAB BATTLE

Cypher Zulu
Your language is weak, your rhymes are so dreary
But the verses I'm spittin' are positively eerie
So call me Lovecraft, ain't no stopping my thing
My rhymes are a dynasty, I'm an emperor like Ming
So get on your knees and bow down to this king.
<CypherZulu throws down the mic>

Crazy Wisdom
Who came after? The Yuan, the Qing
Reppin' the steppes with back-to-back championship rings
Man, chu ain't shit, can't spit, you got a split lip
Now here I come, bring pain like G Khan, my crew - the Golden Horde
I own this house, you pay me room n board
So pick up your mic and go home to mom and dad
Cause I just wrecked your shit
Like the library of Baghdad

Cypher Zulu
Well I'm Dr. Sun, a true people's man
It's the rap revolution, but you're still Japan
Your style's a copy, you just copied another
But I'm hot like Hiroshima
Go ask your mother

Crazy Wisdom
Bitch, don't clown
From Peking to Nanking, I beat your ass down
Take your lunch like I take away Port Arthur
And Taiwan, 'cause I'm the author
Of Hakko Icchu, like how I eat you
For mosa your history, you can't compete with me
Lyrically or culturally
Your revolution's weak, of Tianamen you can't speak
Look at you, no wonder you can't reclaim Daio- I mean - Senkaku

Cypher Zulu
I wasn't done yet, if you'd shut your mouth
But I'm bringing the heat like we in the deep South
Now I hope you brought a pencil since we're starting the class
And I've got some facts I need to drop on your ass
A second bomb fell on the town Nagasaki
Burnin' up that fake shit, rap teriyaki
So get out of my grill, I'm servin' up pain
But this ain't some fallout, it's rap acid rain
Now make like Al Gore, this an inconvenient truth
But the rhyme game is mine, son, you're under my roof

Crazy Wisdom
Deep South ain't shit, lemme pull this gook dick out your mouth
We're talkin' Dai Nam here - you know, Great South.
Wrecking you up, hue hue hue like Tet
You're a flash in the pan, I'm the Manhattan Project
Viet Minh, Viet Cong, my brutal rhymes like a deluge
Karate chop you in the neck like C Ferrel in Bruges
So step off quick, retreat before you choke
Don't talk about acid rain, you're fucking Charles Koch
I deck ya, wreck ya
I split splat splay ya
You know what they say son
Don't start a land war in Asia

Cypher Zulu
I roll IRA style, you know, never conquered
You're all looks and no game, like the Battle of Yonkers
While zombies might line up to start kissing your ass
My rhymes are just Capital, all about class
So don't try to front, ngga, don't try to fight
I'll have you cryin for your goons
Rejects of the world-

Crazy Wisdom
I gotta question your logic, like a decade old murder
Some broad, forgot her name. Dunno, never heard of her
But point still stands, you don't get high Marx
Might look like you do well, but you're bankrupt like the Sparks
So keep rhyming on repeat, kid, you're a goat, you're a pilgrim
Come to my Mecca to learn how to spill 'em
But you can meet the master, you can come and wash my feet.
I'm rhyming round you in three timelines, poo-tee-weet.

A challenger appeared! Mad Contender
My words'll send cyanide up your every vein
Your world's a dystopia - fuckin' Kallocain
Don't believe in no conspiracies, fuck that triangle shit
The New World Order shivers when I go wild 'n spit
Don't give a damn if you're Black Muslim or Yellow Confucian
This shit can only go down one way - revolution

Cypher Zulu
Were you paying attention at all, my young brother?
The revolution's begun at the behest of another
I'm going Pol Pot, welcome to the killing fields
Or better yet I'm O'Riley, fightin' for my meals
I'm starved, angrier than you will ever be
Iran against Israel, pushin' you to the sea

Crazy Wisdom
Alright, I concede, let's have a drink for the masses.
Got my Patron - but wait
You got no glasses
Heartache by the Numbers: Caravan Master

If you say that prancing mailman of a GM is ever going to run the gangster game WELL THEN I SAY GOOD DAY SIR -oyid

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Re: Chat Excerpts

Post by Smyg » 20:09:12 Sunday, 25 May, 2014

It's a few days late, but ladieeees and gentlemeeen - here's the latest word on the street, straight outta Molotov.
Cypher Zulu:
We're gettin' fleeced man, that's the problem
But when I bring up solutions yo, you just dodge 'em
So back off homie, 'less you got a party around ya
And come to the show ready to take on the bourgeois
With hardware like Menard's, gettin' ready to hit 'em hard
Cuz right now you the masses, motherfucker I'm the vanguard

Crazy Wisdom:
Whoa, man, calm down, what's with the hostility?
I'm questionin' your methods, not attacking your virility
The movement's strong, don't question it's fertility
Chill the fuck out and have a lil humility
Catch more flies with honey, my friend
So talk softly, that's your big stick in the end

Mad Contender:
You know Zulu, I used to know this punk ass kid, a fuckin' British Indian
He'd drive me ballistic, make my world view just a 'lil bit Social Darwinian
One day he up 'n split, to study law 'n drink vodka like a cold limey fish
Now he be chattin' us up again, observin' us like a damn petri dish

Cypher Zulu:
To punish our oppressors is nothing but clemency
But from the way you're talking man, it's like you're the enemy
Peace and love and humility, you sound Menshevik
But my clique is Mercador, we're rolling with ice picks
In the vein of Thermidor, all I hear is Reaction
I'm Meinhof with the people, Red Army Faction
Now I hope this rhyme helps you realize your error
If not, look out, son, new Reign of Terror

Crazy Wisdom:
You think your way is best? You sound like a Stalinist
Praising Mao Tse-Tung, as if he was the ballingest
What is it with your urge to purge?
Mass deportations and firing squads, you're driving the revolution to the verge
Of being the monster we fought to replace
How about you back off and get your weak shit out my face

Cypher Zulu:
Stalinist? I'll accept that would-be degradation
It's a million times better than your class collaboration
We'll build a workers dictatorship, sick of your fake shit
Trashin' people's war while acting the whore
to bourgeois interests, not takin' it no more
But riddle me this, because it kinda seems funny
how you can be a revolutionary when you come from old money

Crazy Wisdom:
You claim to speak for the people? I declare you do not
You speak for slaves, mislead robots
Bolshevist or populist, or even fuckin' Trot
You're just seizing power from your enemies, a boiled over Pol Pot
You preach revolution by fire, but the people drop you like it's hot

Mad Contender:
I advise you back down Crazy Wis, or I'll give you a blitzin' smack
Me and the crew'll go goddamn Saddam on you - fuckin' chemical attack
Eastern civilization lost out on the game, despite the head start
Don't even try to act upset, we both know you got ice in that yellow heart
Yo man, calm down, chill, and take no offense, I don't mean to piss on your 'lil parade
But if yo ass was a people in need, not a single nigga would join no international brigade

Cypher Zulu:
Lemme wrap this up, man, because I like you, I do
But the words you're telling me, they ain't nothing new
With an attitude like that, such a condescending manner
All you need to know about the sickle and hammer:
Is this, so pay attention, me hearty
Revolution ain't love, man, it's no dinner party

Crazy Wisdom:
Alright, I'm beat, firing squad, coup de grace
I ain't gonna stop you - go ahead and draw
One last request, don't put a bullet in my face
That's ignominious, that's a damn disgrace
Shoot me in the heart instead, cuz that's what you broke
The revolution's dead, and you? You're a joke

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Bear Bottle Collective Presents...

Post by Smyg » 20:16:56 Sunday, 25 May, 2014


Thread created, new posts moved in.

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