Gesar's Thread

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Gesar's Thread

Post by OYID » 02:54:42 Friday, 12 April, 2013

OYID's venue for random crap, named after his favorite madman.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:

-Short Stories.
-Setting Outlines.
-Rants and Essays.
-Are reviews considered creative? I think I may post one or two.
-And much more!
1968 Aliens!: US of A.

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Re: Gesar's Thread

Post by OYID » 06:18:16 Saturday, 13 April, 2013

Narrative_1Show
A rickety old motorboat makes way too much noise when moving about the swamp in the dead of night. The boat is an old, white and wooden, busted up and lost in a flash flood. Still serviceable if you don't mind getting your bum wet as hell. Patrick did not mind getting his bum wet at all. What he did mind was the prospect of not finding what he sought in time, and the terrible danger everybody was in should he fail.

You shouldn't worry,
everybody is wiser now,


Patrick sat on the edge of his boat, pointing his flashlight at the water in slow, deliberate sweeps of his arm. There was a time when he would have been terrified at the prospect of something (or, even worse, some one) ambushing him in the dark, but that fear is completely unfounded now. The swamp is a safe place, a realm of peace and tranquility where nothing could hurt and therefore everything becomes just so very profoundly boring. Patrick is a man of rags. He takes pride in leading a modest lifestyle, the only pride he would permit himself, but even he has to admit that a safe old swamp is still exciting when you're doing what he's doing.

Believe it or not,
even animals are wiser,


The water stirs. Patrick kills the motor. The flashlight jolts around looking for the source of the commotion. It finally settles on an indistinct bulge slowly swaying to a halt in the murky water. He slowly and deliberately approaches the dark mass, takes out the bottom half of a broken pool net (it's the useful part, anyway), and uses it to pull the form closer to the boat. With a grunt he heaves it on board, cracking the old planks and filling the old boat even more with water. He flashes the light at his prize and sees nothing but leaves and branches. He turns it around and comes face to face with the sick expression of a bloated drowned corpse.

"Bingo," he whispers.

Suddenly and without even the basic courtesy of previous warning, the corpse begins to shake. Its throat gurgles and gags backed up water, until finally the body bends over and vomits a disgusting stream of stinked-up swamp mess. Its disjointed eyes focus, and the soaked dead body takes a deep breath. "Ah, Mister Harris, glad you could join us," says Patrick. "Never break a suicide pact," answers Mister Harris.
"Of course, you do understand you're under arrest?" asks the boatman quietly. "By the looks of your rags," replies Harris, still panting from the whole drowning experience, "I didn't expect you to have much interest in matters of the Great Behind."
"No," says Patrick, a smirk edging out the corner of his mouth despite himself, "that would be a fair assesment." They sit a few minutes in silence, each of them contemplating the absurdity of the situation. Finally the man in rags continues, "I will now take you back to Archtown, where you will answer for your crimes." Even in the darkness, Patrick can tell this radical is trying his darndest to give a damn. "First, however, you must eat."

*****
The nameless inn was an old half-crushed steam ship, its bent structure gave the dining area a distinctly cramped feeling, even though Patrick and Harris were the only ones sitting at the rotten table. Harris was wolfing down catfish out of a broken plate, while Parick simply observed him, breathing deeply to remain perfectly impassive. From time to time Harris would make uncomfortably familiar eye contact, an obvious ploy to get on his nerves, so Patrick simply diverted his attention towards the wet, crooked structure of the nameless diner. How did the song go, again? Oh, right...

Hell, even innert matter is wiser
the second time around!


"It's killing you, isn't it?" Asked Harris without looking up from his food. The man in rags looks back at him without making any sort of gesture, wordlessly asking whatever the hell he means. "You want to know how I did it, don't you? You're not supposed to be curious, I know. Heck, I wasn't supposed to be curious, but I guess I just couldn't let the cat live, could I?"
Patrick makes a show of sighing at this. "Neither your puns nor your terrible jokes are appreciated," said the annoyed captor, "To be honest, they both strike me as rather pointless."
"Yeah... but then again, what doesn't?"
Patrick gave him a stern look. "Are you quite finished? We've got a long road ahead of us."
"So you're seriously not going to ask me?" Harris seemed surprised, "I come back from he dead and return here, and you don't even ask what's it like crossing over. Really."
"Well, as you said, Mr. Harris," replied the man in rags even as satisfaction swelled up in him, "I mostly deal in reality."
"Excuse me?" Harris now seemed positively dumbfounded.
"Oh, you heard me," there was the smirk again, "You're dead, I'm dead, the whole world is dead, and there isn't any way of fixing it or going back to the way it was before, as well there shouldn't be. Now, if you're quite done getting catfish all over your table, we've got a court appointment in Archtown."

Incredible. The only man who had seen him come back would keep his promise of denying it, even as he dragged him accross the country to judge him for it. He obviously expected this, but he hoped to at least convert his arresting officer. He shouldn't give up hope, though, it's not unheard of for a dead soul's apathy to be completely fake. Maybe he just had to pull the right strings.

*****

From the West, one enters Archtown by passing under a bent, partially twisted gigantic metallic arch. From then on it's just as boring as any other town or village: mountains upon mountains of rubble, the occasional broken or totalled car thrown about, with the actual village located in the few buildings still sufficiently structurally sound to sustain life. "I hate towns," said Harris, "the only thing more depressing than you guys are a thousand other gray hollowed-out corpses." "Would you rather roam the countryside with the geezers?" asked Patrick, careful not to let his satisfaction show. "Oh, hell no." Harris' answer was quick, this wasn't something he'd never considered before, "Trudging along, foraging for food, looking for a comfortable spot to lie down and be in agony forever? Of course not, give me the thrill of persecution any time." Patrick sighed. Throughout the trip, this radical had tried by all means to get him to learn about his unnatural method, probably in the vain hope that he would be curious about it. Luckily, he had managed to distract himself by spotting and observing geezers in the wilderness. A sad spectacle, sure, but much preferrable to coming across another tribe of the Mangled...the very thought of it made him shiver. Harris furrowed his brow and whispered a curse word around the same time, probably thinking something along the same lines.

****
(some sort of conclusion)
SpoilerShow
Now that we have this weird semi-public space, I'm unsure what to do with it. I'll probably post half-baked unfinished ideas like these from time to time, and hopefully polish some of them to look presentable. Knowing myself, though, it's likely you'll be treated to sporadic broken nonsense until I tire of it and do something else. Self deprecation makes me instantly likeable, right?
Last edited by OYID on 18:52:15 Saturday, 13 April, 2013, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Gesar's Thread

Post by RinKou » 17:38:56 Saturday, 13 April, 2013

>Patrick did not mind getting his bum wet at all.

Oh man, context.

>Self deprecation makes me instantly likeable, right?

Also, fuck you, that's my line.
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Re: Gesar's Thread

Post by OYID » 20:04:26 Monday, 13 May, 2013

Review_1 Star Trek Into DarknessShow
In his Iron Man 3 Review, Vince Mancini from FilmDrunk describes Shane Black's nerdy filmmaking as "Pulp", as opposed to Joss Whedon's "Kitsch." He says this in the context of comedy, but one can easily understand it as Black taking a preposterous concept and trying to make it work, whereas Whedon will present something dumb and try to make you love it precisely for being so incredibly stupid (the Trantino-Rodriguez relationship comes to mind).
If Shane Black is Pulp and Joss Whedon is Kitsch, then J.J. Abrams is...Pop-Art? Ready-Made Dadaism? He is content with presenting previously-established content, and hoping to draw enjoyment from framing this content as a piece by itself, instead of part of a whole.

Nerdiness has traveled a peculiar path: from narrative trope to umbrella term for obsessive subcultures to, currently, an increasingly meaningless consumer brand. In its current form, nerdiness has become a self-serving end in itself. Unapologetic as they may have seemed at the time, the past decade's first comic book and fantasy novel adaptations bent over backwards to accommodate mainstream sensibilities: the X-Men's colorful costumes were traded for Matrix-esque black leather, while the Green Goblin's Halloween-themed look was replaced by a full-body green plastic armor, much more menacing according to the infamous Main Stream.
Nerdhood began attached to a commercial endeavor, but now it has become an endeavor in itself. The typical contemporary geek is proud to be a prime target audience for big Hollywood studios, and there lies the central tragedy of the Nerd: The nerd claims his consumption is justified by love and obsession, as opposed to the more shallow fad relationship of the average consumer, but a supposed disdain of society has morphed into a competition to be the very best consumer of all; the Nerd is therefore not a rebel, he is the ultimate reactionary; being a nerd is not a principled stance against consumerism but rather its ultimate form; a nerd is a loyal, unconditional consumer of culture and all related paraphernalia, as well as a voluntary vehicle for viral propaganda, a perfect product-child of marketing: the active consumer.
But enough nonsense, now on to discuss the actual film:

Star Trek Into Darkness is a wholly referential movie: we have reached the point where not only are quotes and lore treated as everyday vocabulary, but entire scenes are lifted from other films, presented in a novel manner as a clever reference.

Perversely, J.J. Abrams doesn't see the reboot as an end to the canon: he sees it as a POD and an opportunity to explore the original universe further. He's not just remaking Star Trek: he's delineating new and exciting "butterflies" in his parallel universe. Thus the reboot has not erased the classic canon and made it irrelevant, but has rather made it more tyrannical than ever. J.J. Abrams doesn't want to be free: he wants to stay in the original universe forever. He doesn't want to destroy the canon, he wants to deconstruct it, to discuss Star Trek in perpetuity and continue wallowing in his own myth.

Let's hope Star Wars fares better.

Star Trek is also not a twist-based movie, it's a spoiler-based movie. No reveal is really surprising but a bunch of information has been purposefully withheld from advertising to foster the accustomed Internet "No Spoilers!" game. It's a movie made to be ruined, which doesn't sit well with me on different levels. Star Trek Into Darkness is not a work of art that stands on its own, it's a collection of references meant to be referenced. As I said, being a nerd has become a goal in itself, the Reference is considered a valid artistic goal, and its pursuit is so pervasive than even someone relatively unfamiliar with the original series, who hasn't even seen The Wrath of Khan (like me), can recognize constantly-parodied dialogues and sequences.

Fortunately, the bubble will burst as the obscurity arms race becomes increasingly untenable.
Of course I won't play prophet and claim this is some sort of peak nerdery turning point. Peak nerdery will be a CGI raccoon on a jetpack flying around shooting shit in space, then we'll know if this Nerd thing sticks (it won't, it'll be a failure). No, this sort of bullshit has been building up for a while, but it's finally reaching a point of incomprehensibility: the general public wont follow you everywhere. As nerds compete to one-up each other in terms of absolute brand loyalty, they'll lose sight of who gave them this brief moment of glory: the everyday folks that they hate so much.
As the end credits rolled and the people walked out, I heard a perfectly unremarkable girl a few seats to the left of me say the movie was "so boring", and that's when it hit me that at no point was the idea of a Vulcan Mind Meld introduced, nor was the Nerve Pinch explained. For that matter, phasers are set to stun as soon as they are introduced, and any number of references are left unexplained. It's like a petulant nerd wrote this script to show to his trekkie friends, but even more so to confuse his totally uncool dad. For all its pretense of making Star Trek accessible, this film ends up being an action movie with required reading. As a business model, it's unsustainable to expect a broad audience to keep up with all the references. The end of the Nerd era is coming, and it's arrival will be heralded by the Rocket Raccoon.


To its credit, it does hint that maybe it will explore important topical themes, but then immediately drops it only to mention them again at the very end so fuck this movie.

Ok so the Prime Directive (Star Trek's one enduring Big Idea) is properly introduced with a simple example, but the the movie does nothing with it so even mentioning is pointless.
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Re: Gesar's Thread

Post by Rising Phoenix » 04:46:02 Tuesday, 14 May, 2013

And that, my friends, is why I never classified myself as a 'nerd'.

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Re: Gesar's Thread

Post by Gesar » 17:36:21 Tuesday, 14 May, 2013

I dig it, and I think you had some valid points, but if you don't mind me saying (I know you don't) I think parts of it sound very pseudo-intellectual. Namedropping other film critics and art movements for a distinctly non-artsy film comes off as a little pretentious.

As the most pretentious Molotovite, I have the right to say all this. Also this thread is mine.

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Re: Gesar's Thread

Post by OYID » 07:21:28 Saturday, 15 June, 2013

Man of SteelShow
After Marvel confirmed it was producing an Avengers movie, Warner Brothers immediately got to working dat rumor mill, spreading the word that a Justice League film was also in the works. This was met with knee-jerk dismissal. "How unoriginal," the Internet said, "they're totally ripping off Marvel. Plus, they're gonna half ass it; Marvel has already spent years developing and establishing its movie universe." I myself agreed with that general sentiment until tonight. I just saw Man of Steel, and I am happy to report that Warner Brothers has the technology, the will and the vision to make something special, even Great, with the DC characters franchise.

If the early part of cinema's second century will see a confrontation of superhero stories, one might say the DC camp has been blessed with actually losing round one, for this has made them HUNGRY. You can see this hunger all over Man of Steel. Hunger for glory, hunger for recognition, hunger for payback. If Marvel's The Avengers was a knockout hit, Man of Steel is DC's way of jumping up in the air to land a powerful punch straight to Whedon's head. Man, I wish there was a name for that.

Marvel's movies have a feeling of being increasingly campy and self-referential. In a way, they are meta experiences: when Tony Stark throws away a Captain America shield randomly lying around his workshop he doesn't break the Fourth Wall, but the movie sure does, by referencing the fact that it itself is a movie within a larger franchise-universe. Marvel films always have a certain apologetic edge to them, as if the supposedly proud nerd film makers shrug to mainstream audiences while they please the nerds and set up the next CGI show. They do this by constantly inserting humor into their movies, and by keeping the themes broad enough that they broach into Camp, as if conceding to have a certain amount of fan service as long as it doesn't fuck with ticket sales. This all result in Marvel movies having a family-friendly, happy-go-lucky feel to them.

This is not the case with Man of Steel.

How can DC ever possibly hope to beat the absurdly successful Marvel formula? Simple, don't compete with them. Does anyone remember Green Lantern? What looked like an off-brand ripoff of a Marvel movie was actually based on a DC character, but it failed because the producers' heart just clearly wasn't in it. An easier movie to remember is Skyfall, which, despite its novelty at the time, is still a blatant attempt to fit the Christopher Nolan formula into the James Bond universe. The Nolan formula is exactly what DC must continue to implement if it hopes to seriously challenge Marvel's rule. Until Man of Steel, though, I'm pretty sure no one has successfully implemented the Nolan formula. A common misconception is that we're talking about the Dark Knight formula, when in fact this isn't the point at all. A broken and beaten beloved hero, a dark-parallel force-of-nature villain, and a somber color scheme is not what Nolan did to Batman, not at its core. Essentially, the Nolan approach to adaptation is about deconstruction: one must analyze a story, identify its component elements, isolate them and display them as they are, be they superficial aspects or deep underlying themes. A Nolan formula Bond movie could have been about imperialism, anti-feminism, alcoholism, or any number of uncomfortable subtexts in Bond films. Instead we got Javier Bardem as the Joker, with M as Alfred except we get another Alfred near the end so the whole thing gets muddled.
At risk of spoiling a little, I will simply declare that Man of Steel is unapologetic in its exploration of Superman's themes, without resorting to a mere superstrength remake of TDK, although its influence is noticeably there. Will it rake in the money of Iron Man 3? One can only hope. DC's generic action was met with broad comedy, to which they've retorted with ambitious drama.
Ultimately, does the movie say anything about mankind? Probably nothing we haven't heard before, but the ambition is still there, as well as a particularly high-aiming style of action that is sure to make Marvel executives more than a little nervous. Do you remember Superman Returns? It's ok if you don't, that movie was duller than death, and I believe the reason for this is that it was too caught up in aping Christopher Reeve's Superman series from the seventies and eighties to try anything new. This is not the case with this film: the action is fast-paced and strong, and wouldn't feel out of place in an Anime or a comic book.

In summary, this might be the movie that signals DC's resurgence as a major power. Also I dislike Whedon more every day.
Favorite quote from another Review so far:
I know they think they have to directly acknowledge the Bible because of the similarities between Jesus and Superman, but aside from the fact that Jesus allusions have already been done to death, it cheapens it. It adds nothing to Superman to allude to a lesser story. For one thing, Superman’s father is much more fleshed out than Jesus’s. Honestly, Superman is a better origin story. We don’t even know what Jesus did between when he was a baby and when he was 30. Why do you want to remind people of that?

Read more: http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2013/06/rev ... z2WKT1oCkQ
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Re: Gesar's Thread

Post by OYID » 06:48:57 Sunday, 23 July, 2017

Gesar likes his coffee like he likes his women


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Re: Gesar's Thread

Post by Gesar » 18:10:58 Sunday, 23 July, 2017

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