New York Journal

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Smyg
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New York Journal

Post by Smyg » 18:45:13 Sunday, 07 February, 2016

NEW YORK JOURNAL

THE FINEST NEWS IN ALL OF NEW YORK CITY

Est. 1895

PROPERTY OF MR. WILLIAM RANDOLPH HEARST

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Smyg
GETTIN' REAL TIRED OF YOUR MACHIAVELLIAN BULLSHIT, GESAR
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Re: New York Journal

Post by Smyg » 20:36:50 Monday, 08 February, 2016

L1897

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Mr. Mark Twain, one of the United States' most prolific authors.

MARK TWAIN AMUSED

Speaking to the New York Journal, America's currently most famous author - Mr. Mark Twain, a resident of Connecticut - has firmly denied all recent allegations of his untimely death. On June 1st of this year, the New York Herald - a newspaper which, like the New York World, can only be seen as a lesser substitute for the Journal - declared the following humbug: "[Twain is] grievously ill and possibly dying. Worse still, we are told that his brilliant intellect is shattered and that he is sorely in need of money." Speaking today to our regular correspondent in the United Kingdom, Mr. Twain confirmed that he is indeed alive and well, stating that "the report of my death was an exaggeration".

Mr. Twain, who is on assignment of the New York Journal itself in London to cover the extravagant events of Queen Victoria's 'Diamond Jubilee', is currently in the process of publishing his most recent book, entitled Following the Equator. The piece, printed through the American Publishing Company, details another one of his Anglo-Saxon trips. It is a travelogue describing his 1895 travels in the British Empire, a journey that took him to such distant regions as Fiji, Australia, New Zealand, Ceylon, India, Mauritius, and South Africa. Always a critic of European colonialism, Mr. Twain's new book is certain to become controversial, featuring statements such as: "There are many humorous things in this world; among them the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages."

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