Who Would Win a Fight: Molotov Edition

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OYID
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Re: Who Would Win a Fight: Molotov Edition

Post by OYID » 06:59:30 Friday, 16 August, 2013

Gesar wrote:
OYID wrote:Do it or the Headless Chicken Fish will eat the soap.
EY ESE AYE DON'T CARRRE IF JOOR A FEESH JOO HAFF TO BUY THE SOAP
It's only me from across the sea said Barnacle Bill the sailor.
And clean the damn microwave.
1968 Aliens!: US of A.

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Re: Who Would Win a Fight: Molotov Edition

Post by Gesar » 07:03:35 Friday, 16 August, 2013

OYID wrote:
Gesar wrote:
OYID wrote:Do it or the Headless Chicken Fish will eat the soap.
EY ESE AYE DON'T CARRRE IF JOOR A FEESH JOO HAFF TO BUY THE SOAP
It's only me from across the sea said Barnacle Bill the sailor.
And clean the damn microwave.
this
is
our
lives
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Smyg wrote:The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of Gesar coping with being a total fucking a-grade revolutionary thinker

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Re: Who Would Win a Fight: Molotov Edition

Post by OYID » 07:23:13 Friday, 16 August, 2013

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1968 Aliens!: US of A.

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Langben
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Re: Who Would Win a Fight: Molotov Edition

Post by Langben » 07:58:46 Friday, 16 August, 2013

I remember Courage the Cowardly Dog. I ain't having that Ringo Starr sounding alien chicken shit.

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Re: Who Would Win a Fight: Molotov Edition

Post by Huojin » 23:15:36 Tuesday, 15 March, 2016

PROJECT MAYHEM NECROPOST IS NOW IN EFFECT.

The battle that was always meant to be. Thee... and me...

I'LL SEE YOU ON WALL STREET


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Re: Who Would Win a Fight: Molotov Edition

Post by Gesar » 00:03:49 Wednesday, 16 March, 2016

"...and I'm being told this is still a thing, like 1898 or people sending their turns. Ah, hell, I'll do this real quick. I don't even know anymore."
Rin "The Shaolin Shadowboxer" Kou vs. "The Right Honourable Lord Smackdown" Huojin
New York Stock Exchange Board Room, New York, New York
It's a battle of high rollers worthy of a presidential election, but the blood on the floors of the NYSE only allow one man to rise: Huojin's more busted than Rin's boy Shameek from 212.

Yeah, motherfucka's deported like he's OYID's grandma,
American wins, go home Huo, call it Ruled Britannia.
Goofy "That Time Again" McCoy vs. "El Chupacabra qon Cheddar" OYID
Border Crossing, El Paso, Texas
And continuing the grand tradition of American brutality, Goofy channels his inner Donald Trump and stops OYID like a wall. Who can stop the Tempest from the Northwest?

Not our Mexican compadre, apparently, who's as gone from this fight as he is this board.
BG "The Vulgar Bulgar" Knight vs. "Braveheart Redux" Coinneach
A Smoke-filled Room, Little Russia, London
Coinneach's got the skill, and he's ill-a than our Brown Bulgarian will ever be, but finally free from the grasp of his tyrannical girlfriend, the only Big Trouble in Little Russia we'll be seeing is Coinneach's continued inability to send his turns. Because his arm's broken.

Gesar "Does" Dallas vs. "Taking out a life insurance policy on all you fuckers" Orago
Allegheny Mountain Tunnel, Pennsylvania Turnpike, Pennsylvania
Fuck everybody who thinks I couldn't fight a furry. Christ. I win this one. Assholes.

"And so we enter the semifinals of the Molotov Fight Club. Who will stand as the baddest dude on a board of nerds? Stay tuned!"

Bracket: Gone. Fuck you, Huojin.
Current Round: Semifinals
Rin "The Shaolin Shadowboxer" Kou vs. Goofy "That Time Again" McCoy in: Last Tango in Portland
Somewhere pretentious fucking West Coast coffee shop that plays Ben Folds albums on repeat or something
I want to give this one to Rin. I really do. But somehow I think that poise he has will shatter against a real contender. Goofy brings that fire like it's a Bear Bottle mixtape.

Edge: Goofy

---
Gesar "Does" Dallas vs. BG "The Vulgar Bulgar" Knight in: Svoboda Ili Splat
The Serb-Free Hills of Macedonia
Fighting BG would be tough. I think he's probably more in shape than me. But like, I dunno, pretty sure I'm crazier. What do you want me to say. Somebody's gotta be the inspirational underdog here.
BrazilSim: Lampião, King of Cangaco, in Ain't Nothin' But a Gangster Party
Smyg wrote:The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of Gesar coping with being a total fucking a-grade revolutionary thinker

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Re: Who Would Win a Fight: Molotov Edition

Post by Huojin » 16:50:18 Monday, 21 March, 2016

Rin "The Shaolin Shadowboxer" Kou vs. Goofy "That Time Again" McCoy in: Last Tango in Portland
Rin might be a martial fella, and well position in home of the hipsters, but fundamentally I think Goofy's gotta have the advantage. Dealing with hipsters in everyday life and dodging their bullshit, I can't help but feel his skillset negates Rin's hometurf advantage. Plus I really wanna see the undercard lineup in the finals.

Result? Nimble Anti-Hipster Evades Vintage Vinyls

Gesar "Does" Dallas vs. BG "The Vulgar Bulgar" Knight in: Svoboda Ili Splat
How much do we really need to discuss this one? I'd love to hand down a defeat to the viciously inactive Bg, but with the homefield advantage of the Balkans, ultimately the Turkish manlet crushes my favourite communist after a brutal brawl, followed by a vicious campaign to re-establish the San Stefano borders of Bulgaria.

Result? BULGARAGE

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Re: Who Would Win a Fight: Molotov Edition

Post by RinKou » 04:25:53 Tuesday, 22 March, 2016

Rin "The Shaolin Shadowboxer" Kou vs. Goofy "That Time Again" McCoy in: Last Tango in Portland
To be fair, Portland is like, neutral ground. One of us will die an honorable death in this coffee shop, the other walks out a glorious victory. And a Sidamo on Aeropress, because I ain't got time for no full city roast garbage.

Good coffee, good vibes, good riddance, Mr. McCoy.

---
Gesar "Does" Dallas vs. BG "The Vulgar Bulgar" Knight in: Svoboda Ili Splat
Bg does have the accumulated millenia of fighting experience from all the precious Mongolia in his veins, but on the other hand, Ges spent some time as a linecook, so that about evens it out.

I'm inclined to give an edge to Bg, but it's kinda hard to win a fight if you aren't actually around to defend yourself.

Provisional edge: If Bg doesn't look up soon, Ges is landing a sweet dropkick from five miles above Sofia.
Heartache by the Numbers: Caravan Master

If you say that prancing mailman of a GM is ever going to run the gangster game WELL THEN I SAY GOOD DAY SIR -oyid

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BgKnight
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Re: Who Would Win a Fight: Molotov Edition

Post by BgKnight » 08:43:43 Tuesday, 22 March, 2016

Taking Commie heads and genocide is my specialty. Y'all better fuckin' get me in a fist fight with Goofy after beatin' Ges.
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Langben
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Re: Who Would Win a Fight: Molotov Edition

Post by Langben » 09:35:45 Wednesday, 23 March, 2016

Rin "The Shaolin Shadowboxer" Kou vs. Goofy "That Time Again" McCoy in: Last Tango in Portland
Rin could totally rally those Portscum to take down a Seatown punk behind enemy lines. Their hatred for Seattle is well known, and they've been pushing to escalate the conflict recently. Calling in a bunch of lumbersexuals for a stage fatality would be some shit.
Gesar "Does" Dallas vs. BG "The Vulgar Bulgar" Knight in: Svoboda Ili Splat
Go home and be a family bulgar.


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